Marriage Counseling
Getting Marriage Counseling
Marriage counseling or couples therapy is a process of providing direction or advice to a married couple. It is an attempt to make both husband and wife recognize and reconcile or manage differences and avoiding recurrent distress. Marriages are likely to get strained. One of the major reasons is poor communication. Insecurity, anger, ego, jealously, greed and inability to appreciate the spouse’s point of view add to the problem leading to maladaptive patterns. The basic principle under which a marriage counselor operates is the understanding that everyone has his or her own way of thinking. Each individual has a distinct personality and is bound by his or her perception of events and a different value system. The way an individual thinks or perceives a situation is also dependent upon the individual’s history. A marriage counselor is not there to find faults with either husband or wife but for reorienting perceptions and emotions. S/he tries to impress upon couples that each person should be aware of the problems, his/her contribution towards creating the problem and that both have to make structural changes in their thoughts and feelings.
The most commonly used couples therapy is focus on the process of communicating, which uses a method known as active listening. A therapist helps couples learn how to create a healthy environment for both to listen and express their thoughts and feelings. Another method is to help couples to forget that they have to score brownie points while arguing and accept that they are emotionally attached and each is dependent on the other just as a child is on a parent. Couples do not necessarily need counseling only when their marriage is on the rocks. There are times when it is just a matter of getting over a particular problem that is causing distress. With proper direction such problems can be overcome easily. While the traditional method of rendering such advice is through a marriage counselor or a therapist, there are also many websites that offer free marriage counseling. These websites offer effective problem-based simple solutions that are explained in simple language.
Problems are bound to arise in marriages because it is sometimes difficult to overcome ego and feelings of superiority. Marriage and counseling are complementary to each other. Problems in a marriage often appear to be big but usually have small solutions.
In many cases depleted finances, ill health and the influence of other members of the family has a great impact on the conduct, responses and actions of couples. In such cases, for a better marriage there may be a need for marriage family counseling.
Counseling for promoting a better relationship in couples dates back to the times when the village, family and elders provided help in restoring marriages and still practiced in many cultures. Nuclear families are a product of modernization. The only resource available may only be marriage counseling, online or professional.